May 2013
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Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
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i love watching my innocent friends slowly transform into beautiful horny butterflies as we get older
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“Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands...”
– Thought Catalog, How To Tell If Someone Loves You (x)
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sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until its 2am and it feels like you’re taking a bath with satan
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“Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the...”
– N’tima (x)
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I wonder if Hannibal gets cancelled would the Food Network pick it up?
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“If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to...”
– A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway (x)
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The Seven Shittiest Sins
Greed: I want shit
Envy: I want your shit
Wrath: I'm going to wreck your shit
Lust: I'm into some freaky shit
Gluttony: This is some tasty shit
Sloth: I don't feel like doing shit
Pride: I am the shit
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waking up: haha fuck
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Watchtmituesday:
badtvblog:
Don’t watch this if you’re soaked in gasoline because it will warm your heart and you will burn to death and die.
the cold, dead cockles of my heart were just given a breath of life
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are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth
The awkward “I don’t want to annoy you but I really like talking to you” stage.
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There is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades.
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why isn’t anyone unhealthily obsessed with me
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how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
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will you still love me when my pussy no longer tastes like Pepsi Cola?
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When I get drunk and try to makeout with boys
femme-fatalex3:
whatshouldbetchescallme:
about me
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so i cleared my throat today and
and then someone poked me in the side so I laughed
and THEN I FUCKING SNEEZED
and that’s what it’s like being on the second day of your period
i hope this has been educational
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quick have sex with me i’ll explain later
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“man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing
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Fan :Do you prefer non-humanity or humanity Elena?
Paul: How about just no Elena?
don’t you hate it when you offer someone food and they say yes
#like excuse me i was just being polite #you should be polite too
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[AGGRESSIVELY THINKS ABOUT YOU ALL DAY]
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“To be or not to be? Bitch I might be”
– William Shakespeare (x)
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beifag:
k1mkardashian:
girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket
having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
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“His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he...”
– 50 Shades of Grey (x)
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when you have so many ideas, but no talent
Person: Rape is just surprise sex.
Me: Killing you would just be giving you a surprise nap.
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the older i get the more i realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing
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